Buying Toys for Grandma

Last week, a woman came into the store shopping for toys for Grandma. That's right. The kids were shopping for Grandma in a toy store. The woman said to me a bit shyly, "I bet you'll think I'm crazy, but could you help me pick some good games for my elderly mother who is showing signs of dementia?"

I didn't think she sounded crazy at all. Much research suggests that the brain works like a muscle: The more you exercise it, the stronger it stays. According to an article published by Dr. Ifay Chang, who has been studying the effects of play and brain development for over 20 years, playing thinking games and memory games may cut an elderly person's chance of developing dementia by half. "There...[is] ample evidence pointing to the fact that game playing is just [as] important to elderly people as to young kids. Personally, I am in favor of creating games for young kids and elderly people to play together, each derive benefits from the game playing" explains Chang in his follow-up. In short, playing thinking games is good medicine for us all.

Keeping this in mind, I showed this thoughtful customer a few games that would engage her mother both when she was alone and when the grandchildren came for a visit.

1. 36 Cube: Think of this like a 3-D sudoku puzzle. The different colored cubes fit on different lengths of rods. The key is to get one of every color in each row and column with no repeats. This extremely difficult solitaire puzzle would be a great choice for the person who likes to be pushed and challenged.
   
2. Hoppers: Remember the peg hopping game where the object is to leave only one peg on the board? This single-player game gives that a new twist. There are 40 challenge cards that tell you how to arrange the frogs and the object is to leave only the red frog standing. This game is nice because it gradually builds in difficulty. So a reluctant or struggling individual will gain some confidence in the early, easier challenges and be encouraged to keep going.
3. Shut the Box: This simple dice game requires players to recall basic math facts and make decisions about what tiles to flip when to get the best score. This one can be played alone or with others, making it a nice one to play with the grandkids who need to practice memorizing their math facts. This pick is the least challenging of the ones mentioned here, but definitely aids in decision-making skills.
   
4. Qwirkle: The object of this game it to complete rows that are comprised of either all the same shape or all the same color. Similar to sudoku, no row can have a repeat. So if the row is comprised of all the same shape, it can only have one shape of each color. Likewise, if a row is comprised of tiles all of the same color, it cannot have two of the same shape. The more tiles you can place on a single turn and the more directions you connect together, the bigger you score. Again, this game is great for kids to play along with the elderly. Both will be challenged and delighted by it.

Whatever thinking game you pick, one thing is for sure: It will see more use than another ceramic dog on Grandma's shelf!

For more ideas about caring for and interacting with a loved one with dementia, HelpGuide.org has a lot of great information.

Why I Dislike "Educational" Toys

Our website talks about how we sell "educational" toys. Indeed we do. But I still dislike that phrasing.

Why? I think talking about "educational toys" brings a very limited type of toy to mind. It brings to mind toys that teach letters or numbers or spelling or math facts. Don't get me wrong. Such toys can be great. We have ABC puzzles, Math dice, a game about U.S. facts, etc. All fun, all fine.

But we have many other toys that teach other skills, make other brain pathway connections that rarely get credit as being "educational." For example, one of my kids' favorite toys is this pizza set. At a first glance, it looks just like a toy, not an "educational" toy. But it teaches so many different things!

First, the pieces of pizza and toppings connect using velcro. So from an early age, kids are getting tactile sensory input. To state it another way, their brains learn to sort the soft side of the velcro from the rougher side. From there they must figure out that it takes one rough piece and one soft piece to get them to stick together. Although this is an easy task for adults, it truly takes great problem solving and learning for a toddler to figure this out for the first time. It also improves their fine motor skills as they manipulate the toppings and practice cutting and assembling the pizza.

Then there's sorting. With three different topping choices, the sorting and patterning practice they engage in is endless. For instance, when putting the toy away, the child can be encouraged to put a different topping in a different compartment. Or while building a pizza, the child can build a pepperoni piece, then a mushroom piece, and then a pepper piece, then continue the pattern on the next piece. And later, counting while doing these activities takes learning a step farther. Mom simply just has to order a pizza with 5 pieces of pepperoni, or three slices with mushrooms.

And as they get older, they begin to learn fractions from this simple toy. Just by mom being the customer and ordering a half perpperoni, half mushroom pizza, the introduction to fractions begins. Moreover, the introduction to this mathematical concept is concrete and hands-on, making it easier for kids to understand and remember.

Do the kids realize how much they are learning while playing pizza shop? Probably not. But that doesn't mean they aren't learning. It simply means you've found a great brain-building toy that kids will want to play with again and again.

Play: The Way to Good Grades

The pools are closed and the parks are empty for the most part in the middle of the afternoon. Yep, school is clearly back in session. Schedules are packed for the kids and parents alike. Budgets are strapped from all the new clothes, binders, and backpack purchases. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. I just want you to know that I "get" it. I used to teach at a public high school for seven years, and now I have three kids of my own. So I understand what this time of year means for families.

It means homework, and dinners gobbled down minutes before sports practice. The last thing on anyone's mind is buying a new toy. So I'm not going to highlight a toy or a game this week. Instead, I want to ask parents to find time for their kids to play, really play, for a little each day. No fancy toys with batteries needed. No team uniform to pay for. No purchase necessary.

Why am I asking parents to find time for one more thing in their schedules? Because I believe it's important. No, make that critical for kids' happiness and their academic success. This opinion isn't just my own: It's the opinion of many educators and researchers. And when we find a quiet time to think about it, it's just common sense.

In Alix Spiegel's report "Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills," he comments how children's environments have changed drastically over the past 50 years. More time is spent indoors; more time is spent doing structured, adult-led activities and sports. Less time is given to allow kids to do imaginary, self-regulated play. So what? According to the experts, playing make-believe helps children develop a cognitive skill called "executive function." As the article explains, "Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child's IQ."

The American Academy of Pediatrics agrees with the importance of unstructured, imaginitive play for brain development. In fact, they are so concerned that children aren't getting enough of this type of play, that they wrote an entire report on its importance and tips for parents and pediatricians to help make sure kids are given opportunities for this type of play. Their report also points out how parent-child bonds can be strengthened during play together.

But I know that we as parents are already aware that playing is good for our kids. But I also know that there is a lot of pressure to push our kids hard and at a young age. Well, let's push them. But let's consider that one of the best ways to "push" them is to make sure they play each day...play with something that doesn't have a screen or blinking lights.

Instead, encourage them to play with a set of blocks. Your old clothes and shoes for dress-up. Games that encourage them to talk to themselves or each other, like playing house or superheroes. Anything where they get to make up the rules and let their imaginations soar. Chances are their school scores will soar, too.