Blocks and Bean Bags: Destined to Sit on Shelves?

There are some toys that seem destined to sit on the shelf in a toy store. They don't have glitzy packaging; they aren't associated with any TV character; they don't have any flashing lights or battery-operated coolness. So they just sit on the shelves.

I'm thinking of two toys in particular: blocks and bean bag squares. When was the last time you saw a child write these items at the top of her Christmas or birthday list?

Yet research--along with our own "guts"--suggest that these are the very toys our children should be playing with. There are many benefits of block play. According to the experts in the book Einstein Never Used Flash Cards, children learn language, mathematical, emotional, and cognitive skills from block play. The same is true, they note, of other open-ended play toys, such as dolls, play kitchens, and I would add bean bags to the list.

But still, we parents find it hard to ignore our child's wish list for the latest "in" toy and buy him blocks and bean bags instead. Why? I think there are two answers to this question. 1. ) Marketers are evil geniuses. Heck, when I finally saw a Zhu Zhu pet commercial, I almost believed it was the most fun thing I had ever seen. I wanted a hamster to love with no poop to clean up! and 2.) We have forgotten to think like a child. We have forgotten how to look at these simple toys and see all the possibilities. This skill is what the marketers use against us. They show children the possibilities. The Zhu Zhu pets are shown navigating tube mazes, making loving noises, making children laugh. In short, the commercial shows kids how to play with the toy.

We can use this tactic to some extent with our kids. We can "market" these simpler, open-ended toys to our kids. We can do this by offering them the toy and getting on the floor and playing with them when they seem stuck. We can encourage them to try new ways to play with their toys.

So in that spirit, I'm offering some ideas that have gotten my kids engaged in play with these types of toys, and I invite you to add to our list.

1. Use little animals or cars with the blocks. Building can become even more fun when you're building a house for a hippo or a garage for a Mustang.

2. Use small balls with blocks. A big part of block fun is the destruction after the build! Experiment with different sizes and weights of balls and roll them into the tower.

3. Use bean bags to get kids active inside. Make a trail of bean bags and have your child hop on one foot from start to finish trying to pick each one up. If there's more than one child, they could race to complete it first.

4. Set up laundry baskets at different places and distances from a marked spot in the house. Have kids try to toss the bean bags into the different baskets.

5. Have kids try to walk while balancing a bean bag on his head. Try balancing on top of one foot while walking.

6. Make a tic-tac-toe board on a piece of cardboard or poster board. Have players try to toss 3-in-a row.

7. Hide the bean bags and let your child find them all.

Once you get your child interested in these types of toys, step back and let her make up her own games with them. And then maybe, just maybe, the top of her list might surprise you on the next gift-giving holiday.

We'd love to hear your ideas of games to play with blocks and bean bags! Post them below!

Taming the Toy Beast: Getting Kids to Clean Up Their Toys (Win a Gift Certificate!)

I just survived the annual summer visit from my in-laws. I'm fortunate; I truly adore them. But it's stressful nonetheless. I stayed up late to scrub the house only to have the kids promptly destroy it within an hour once they started playing. The living room floor quickly became Playmobil land, and the kitchen table was covered in zoomorphs.

Which brings me to this week's topic: cleaning up the toys. It can be a daily battle in our house. I try to allow enough mess-making for the kids to be truly creative in their play, while keeping enough rules in place so the house doesn't become a giant toy pit. But it's a struggle. And as embarrassed as I am to admit this fact publicly, I have threatened to throw toys in the garbage after stepping on a castle figure in bare feet.

Such threats often just get me pleading sobs, rather than the cooperation that I'm really after, though. Also, let's face it. If I throw away their toys or give them away to charity, I'm just going to be out at some point buying replacements. Not a good plan. No, I just want to keep the toys under control so I can vacuum without first spending two hours putting everything away. I want the kids to happily put their toys away without a single request from me. Sigh. A mom can dream, right?

I've tried putting toys in boxes and rotating every few months which boxes are available for play. This failed for us because the kids would always want (or in their words, need) one specific item from a box that wasn't due back out for another month. I never knew what the right answer was in these situations. If I said no, often the play stopped and many tears were shed. If I said yes, then they wanted another box and another box until all boxes were down. Even when the rotation method "worked," it didn't work. As soon as the boxes that had been stored for a bit were put back in the play room, they were suddenly greeted as "new" toys that all had to be dumped at once like on Christmas morning. I really wanted to scream.

We have finally figured out some better storage options that work for us. For instance, I bought plastic see-through containers with snapping lids. The kids can see what goes in each bin. So when I ask them to pick up their toys, they know where they go. The bins also stack neatly inside their closets and on the playroom shelves, so space is conserved.

But that is only part of the solution in taming the toy beast, as any parent knows. We still face the difficulty of getting the kids to put toys in the buckets. I won't bore you with all the bad things I've tried to get my kids to pitch in; I'll just share one trick that has worked really well for us, and beg for others to chime in with techniques that work for them.

Okay, so here is mine. I decided I had to try to make cleaning up fun. So I got the kids these robot grabber hands. Somehow, it's more fun to pick up toys with these than with your bare hands. I lined up the bins for the toys that were left out, I handed each kid a hand, and we raced to see who filled up his or her bin first. It really worked, and it continues to work on the days that chores just seem too daunting to my little ones. I think it helps them to know one specific task at a time (e.g. pick up all the Groovy girls and put them in this bin), instead of just telling them to clean up their toys, as well. We use our grabber hands to pick up dirty laundry, clean sticks out of the yard, put stuffed animals in the top bunk, just about anything we can think of. It's been a great addition to chore time!

I know there are other fun, creative ways to help get kids to clean up around the house. I'd love to hear yours! In fact, I will give the 5 best tips submitted to me between now and next Sunday (Aug. 15, 2009) a $5.00 gift certificate to use at one of our stores! Not a coupon, no minimum purchase required, just a straight $5.00 gift certificate! You could use it to get your very own robot grabber hand if you wanted! Simply post it, and I'll announce next week the winners out of all the comments.

So let's hear your ideas!

Active Play That's Easy on Mom

I am tired of standing in the sun, pushing my kids on the swing. There. I admitted it. My kids, like all the others on this planet, love going to the park. Of course they do. Why wouldn't they? And I like to encourage it. I like keeping them physically active and breathing in fresh, summer air.

But there is the reality of what park time can mean for adults. It can mean feeling the sand stuck to your sweaty forehead while you pretend to eat the 100th sand ice cream cone your twins just made for you. It can mean yet another round of tag where you try to strike the balance between running fast enough to keep them on their toes, but no so fast that they can't get away. And the swings. Please tell me I'm not the only one who dreads when her kids want to swing. Pushing them on the swing is fun for about two minutes for me. Then I just start to feel miserable. I even find myself wishing to be back in the sandbox; sand in your underwear isn't that bad, right? But I do it, and I even try to smile.

Still, I need a break. But I still want my kids to be outside playing. So here is what I tried. I got them a stomp rocket set. What great fun! They played for hours, taking turns jumping on the pad to launch the foam-tipped rockets into the sky and then racing to retrieve them. They could work it all by themselves! No mom standing in the hot sun for a couple of hours required!

When they complained the other day that it was too hot to be running around, I simply turned on the sprinkler and let the rocket launching begin again. Their creativity soared like the rockets as they pretended launches were delayed or dangerous because of the rain. They stayed cool and active. I gained a couple more hours sitting in the shade on my porch swing, sipping iced tea. Now that's the kind of swinging a mom can enjoy!

Toy Guns

My son was only 2 when it happened: He spotted a couple of older boys chasing each other around with toy guns at the park. This quick glimpse of shiny silver toys that clicked and popped was all it took for him to be hooked. He didn't know what a gun was at this point, but he knew he wanted one.

I'll admit it. I was upset. I had always hoped that ours would be a home free from violent play. I'm one of those crazy moms who teaches her children not to smash bugs if they can help it, even when secretly I want that spider dead and floating in the toilet. And here my son was wanting a toy that would kill countless pretend people and animals. I wanted none of it.

But my husband was in the Army, an infantry man to be exact, so he "gets" the fascination with guns. He also grew up with a brother, and the two of them spent hours playing cops and robbers with toy guns. And I must confess that I racked up many hours of gun play myself as a kid, along with my four older brothers. None of us are violent adults. None of us grew up to be a criminal (one did actually grow up to be a cop, though.) So my husband thinks I should be okay with toy guns.

But I still had a hard time accepting that my son--my sweet blue-eyed boy, the one who used to twist my hair to fall asleep in my arms--wants to play with guns. At first, I put my foot down and just refused to consider it. I hear you all chuckling now. Of course, that didn't work. As anyone who has been around kids knows, a stick, piece toast bitten in all the right places, a Barbie with one leg up and the other down can all be makeshift guns for the determined child. It only took me a couple of weeks to see that I was fighting a losing battle. I started to look for other options. I was convinced there had to be a middle ground.

In my quest for a solution, I talked to other parents, and I started reading about the topic. Finally I stumbled upon a book that helped me put gun play into perspective: Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD.

I'll try my best to quickly sum up the points that I found the most relevant to this topic. Cohen points out that much play is about children coping with their feelings of powerlessness in an adult world. This made sense to me! Everything from playing doctor, to teacher, to gun-toting police officer is a way for children to put themselves in powerful, adult positions. Cohen touches on how this role reversal can help children work out stresses and fears. My attitudes about gun play started to shift as I began to consider the cathartic possibilities play can offer my children.

But Cohen understands how violent play can still make many parents uncomfortable. So he suggests parents get involved with the play and introduce new, fresh elements. For instance, instead of a gun just being used to kill something, what if you transform it into a love gun? We took this idea and ran with it in our home. Our guns shoot many things other than bullets: ice, fire, spider webs, sticky goo, hot lava, kisses. The list goes on and on. It's still gun play; but at least the focus isn't always on killing.

Am I completely comfortable with the toy guns in our home now? I'd by lying if I said I was. I still stress to my son that real guns are dangerous and can kill. I don't let him take his guns to the park or friend's houses out of respect for other parents' comfort levels. But all in all, I am more accepting of gun play. I don't cringe every time my little guy heads out in the backyard toting his cork gun. I know that he is trying out a role, pretending that this "weapon" can stop the scary noise in the bushes (usually the dog) with its freezing rays. And I remind myself that I also said I would never allow Barbies in my home...but that's a different post all together.