What Family Games Teach Kids

After all of the hot, sunny weather during Memorial Day weekend, I was thankful for the thunderstorm that crashed down on us out of nowhere. Not only did it break the humidity, but it gave us the perfect excuse to stop doing yard work and head inside from some family fun. My husband popped the popcorn, I poured the drinks, and we quickly settled into a game of Sleeping Queens with our three kids.

As my son was slapping a knight down to steal one of my queens, I was struck with how much kids learn from playing games with adults. I'm not talking about learning numbers or letters, or even following rules and being a good sport. Sure, these are valuable things to learn, but they can be learned other ways, too. I was thinking more about what kids learn from games played with parents, as opposed to their peers. In short, I was thinking about how parents can help develop their children's self-esteem by playing games with them.

So back to the queen my son stole from me. He was literally squealing with delight as he slid her out of my grasp. At that moment, he felt as powerful and competent as an adult. He knew he was preventing me from winning, and he knew it was a fair play. Rarely in our world do roles get reversed such as this where adults and kids have equal power. Games can allow a framework where kids get to experience what it feels like to be more powerful and in control to some extent. What a boost to self-esteem and confidence!

While my son was having a great game, one of my daughters was not. Round after round, she only picked number cards, instead of the power cards needed to collect more queens. She lamented how the cards weren't being "fair" to everyone. It was a great opportunity for us to talk about how sometimes, no matter how hard we try, things are out of our control. We can "fail" or "lose" without it meaning anything about who we are or how well we played the game. When she's older, there are sure to be projects that crumble and opportunities that slip through fingers. I hope these early lessons in games help her cope gracefully and optimistically with such setbacks with her self-esteem fully intact.

And lastly, I think family games can teach kids a great deal about their family's priorities and values. Playing with your kids shows them they are a priority, that face-to-face talking and laughing are worth making time for. Is there any lesson more important than that in developing a child's self-esteem?