Blocks and Bean Bags: Destined to Sit on Shelves?

There are some toys that seem destined to sit on the shelf in a toy store. They don't have glitzy packaging; they aren't associated with any TV character; they don't have any flashing lights or battery-operated coolness. So they just sit on the shelves.

I'm thinking of two toys in particular: blocks and bean bag squares. When was the last time you saw a child write these items at the top of her Christmas or birthday list?

Yet research--along with our own "guts"--suggest that these are the very toys our children should be playing with. There are many benefits of block play. According to the experts in the book Einstein Never Used Flash Cards, children learn language, mathematical, emotional, and cognitive skills from block play. The same is true, they note, of other open-ended play toys, such as dolls, play kitchens, and I would add bean bags to the list.

But still, we parents find it hard to ignore our child's wish list for the latest "in" toy and buy him blocks and bean bags instead. Why? I think there are two answers to this question. 1. ) Marketers are evil geniuses. Heck, when I finally saw a Zhu Zhu pet commercial, I almost believed it was the most fun thing I had ever seen. I wanted a hamster to love with no poop to clean up! and 2.) We have forgotten to think like a child. We have forgotten how to look at these simple toys and see all the possibilities. This skill is what the marketers use against us. They show children the possibilities. The Zhu Zhu pets are shown navigating tube mazes, making loving noises, making children laugh. In short, the commercial shows kids how to play with the toy.

We can use this tactic to some extent with our kids. We can "market" these simpler, open-ended toys to our kids. We can do this by offering them the toy and getting on the floor and playing with them when they seem stuck. We can encourage them to try new ways to play with their toys.

So in that spirit, I'm offering some ideas that have gotten my kids engaged in play with these types of toys, and I invite you to add to our list.

1. Use little animals or cars with the blocks. Building can become even more fun when you're building a house for a hippo or a garage for a Mustang.

2. Use small balls with blocks. A big part of block fun is the destruction after the build! Experiment with different sizes and weights of balls and roll them into the tower.

3. Use bean bags to get kids active inside. Make a trail of bean bags and have your child hop on one foot from start to finish trying to pick each one up. If there's more than one child, they could race to complete it first.

4. Set up laundry baskets at different places and distances from a marked spot in the house. Have kids try to toss the bean bags into the different baskets.

5. Have kids try to walk while balancing a bean bag on his head. Try balancing on top of one foot while walking.

6. Make a tic-tac-toe board on a piece of cardboard or poster board. Have players try to toss 3-in-a row.

7. Hide the bean bags and let your child find them all.

Once you get your child interested in these types of toys, step back and let her make up her own games with them. And then maybe, just maybe, the top of her list might surprise you on the next gift-giving holiday.

We'd love to hear your ideas of games to play with blocks and bean bags! Post them below!

Getting Kids to Play at Home

"I don't understand why he plays when we come here, but not with his trains at home."
"We have these toys at home, and she never touches them. Here, she won't leave it alone!"

We hear such statements from parents almost daily. Their little ones come into the store and happily begin playing with the Thomas table or the magnetic ice cream set in full force. This behavior isn't surprising in and of itself; what baffles folks is why the children play at the store and not at home.

I remember discovering this phenomenon with my oldest when she was 2 years old. She delighted in playing at the store or the library. I knew it couldn't be the toy selection, because the toys were almost all the same ones we had at home. So what was it? For us, getting my kids to actually play with all the toys we had bought was designing play spaces in the house that mimicked the set-ups we saw out and about.

1. Designate play stations in your house. Assign each corner a specific type of play and leave those toys out of boxes in those areas, ready to go. We are lucky enough to have a room in the basement to dedicate to play. One corner has the kitchen set and play food. Another corner has the train table. Another corner has blocks and other building toys. These spaces give the children a sense of organization and purpose. Everything is out and ready to go, calling them to come play.

2. Make clean up fast and easy for your kids. At the toy store, they get to play and leave the trains on the table. Do that at home! We have the kids put all the tracks and pieces that have made it to the floor back on the table, but that's it. If kids know that a lengthy clean up is going to follow, playing won't be as free and enticing. Play food goes back in the play fridge; blocks go back in the box.

3. Put bins of other toys that might be incorporated naturally into the other play nearby and within reach. For example, our box of Schleich animals is over by the building blocks. That way, the kids can build homes, etc. for the animals. Likewise, the dolls and their supplies are near the play kitchen area so a tea party is easy to put together.

4. Avoid big, deep storage boxes that are mixed with many different types of toys. I know at first glance, a big box to throw everything it at the end of the day sounds fast. But it doesn't encourage good, quality play time. Kids have to dig through and dump everything out to find the one toy they are looking for. They are likely to get distracted and forget what they went looking for. Instead, get individual bins for each type of toy. We use clear bins with locking lids. The kids can see what's in there, and they can't shut the lid if they just try to jam everything into one bin.

5. Only make the kids clean up one time a day. Our "tidy time" is 4:00 P.M. Yes, it will be shocking how messy the areas are at different times of the day. But why drive yourself a little crazy and interrupt good play by constantly putting every little toy away. And in my experience, when kids get used to the routine, they start to self-monitor the messes they leave behind. My kids have learned that the less they leave out when they're really done, the less time it takes to tidy up at 4:00.

I'll admit that my house on any given afternoon--especially during the winter--is not as tidy as those pictures in magazines or on television. I'm fine with that, though. I'm happy that my kids are really playing and imagining throughout the day.

The True Cost of Family Board Games

I'm not a big fan of winter. Limited play time outside and limited daylight hours leave us searching for something to do with the kids indoors a lot of evenings.

I've always enjoyed playing board games, but I have to be honest. The price tag on many games has made me reluctant to buy them. Most games are $25 to $35. All I could think was, "Wow, that's a lot of money to risk on something we might only play once." I've changed my attitude lately, though. And here's why.

We went to a movie over the holiday season (thanks, Grandpa, for the Christmas money!). I was shocked how expensive even a matinee was! For our family of five, tickets alone were $35! We got a bucket of popcorn and a drink to pass and share, so our total was over $40. This was for a little over an hour's worth of entertainment.

During this hour, none of us talked to each other. None of us interacted beyond requesting a sip of rootbeer from the community drink. Did we enjoy ourselves? Sure we did. And we did talk about the movie on the way home. But it was expensive and didn't really feel like "family time."

We also got invited to go bowling. Wow! Really? $3.00 a person to borrow shoes for an hour? Plus $3.00 a person per game?! We were at $30 quickly again. The same was true for an afternoon of ice skating and a couple hours at an indoor inflatable playground. Some fun was had, but it's not something we can afford to do on a regular basis.

So my conclusion? I'm not going to balk at the cost of a family game any more! Even if we only play it one evening, we're not any worse off than if we had tried one of the other activities. Plus, in our experience, we always give a game at least three tries to really "get it." Each time, we'll at least have spent the evening talking and laughing as a family. We'll also have had access to our fridge and snacks that aren't outrageously priced. And there's always the chance we'll find a game we look forward to playing time and time again, like Dicecapades. I'm guessing if we broke it down into cost per play, this game costs us about 25 cents a play at this point. Family fun doesn't get much cheaper than that!

Buying Toys for Grandma

Last week, a woman came into the store shopping for toys for Grandma. That's right. The kids were shopping for Grandma in a toy store. The woman said to me a bit shyly, "I bet you'll think I'm crazy, but could you help me pick some good games for my elderly mother who is showing signs of dementia?"

I didn't think she sounded crazy at all. Much research suggests that the brain works like a muscle: The more you exercise it, the stronger it stays. According to an article published by Dr. Ifay Chang, who has been studying the effects of play and brain development for over 20 years, playing thinking games and memory games may cut an elderly person's chance of developing dementia by half. "There...[is] ample evidence pointing to the fact that game playing is just [as] important to elderly people as to young kids. Personally, I am in favor of creating games for young kids and elderly people to play together, each derive benefits from the game playing" explains Chang in his follow-up. In short, playing thinking games is good medicine for us all.

Keeping this in mind, I showed this thoughtful customer a few games that would engage her mother both when she was alone and when the grandchildren came for a visit.

1. 36 Cube: Think of this like a 3-D sudoku puzzle. The different colored cubes fit on different lengths of rods. The key is to get one of every color in each row and column with no repeats. This extremely difficult solitaire puzzle would be a great choice for the person who likes to be pushed and challenged.
   
2. Hoppers: Remember the peg hopping game where the object is to leave only one peg on the board? This single-player game gives that a new twist. There are 40 challenge cards that tell you how to arrange the frogs and the object is to leave only the red frog standing. This game is nice because it gradually builds in difficulty. So a reluctant or struggling individual will gain some confidence in the early, easier challenges and be encouraged to keep going.
3. Shut the Box: This simple dice game requires players to recall basic math facts and make decisions about what tiles to flip when to get the best score. This one can be played alone or with others, making it a nice one to play with the grandkids who need to practice memorizing their math facts. This pick is the least challenging of the ones mentioned here, but definitely aids in decision-making skills.
   
4. Qwirkle: The object of this game it to complete rows that are comprised of either all the same shape or all the same color. Similar to sudoku, no row can have a repeat. So if the row is comprised of all the same shape, it can only have one shape of each color. Likewise, if a row is comprised of tiles all of the same color, it cannot have two of the same shape. The more tiles you can place on a single turn and the more directions you connect together, the bigger you score. Again, this game is great for kids to play along with the elderly. Both will be challenged and delighted by it.

Whatever thinking game you pick, one thing is for sure: It will see more use than another ceramic dog on Grandma's shelf!

For more ideas about caring for and interacting with a loved one with dementia, HelpGuide.org has a lot of great information.

Making Thanksgiving Fun for Little Ones and Making Memories

I think Thanksgiving is a tough holiday for kids. There are no presents to open, no little plastic eggs to find. Instead, they have to dress in stiff, fancy clothes, wait all day for food that is weird to them, and keep from getting in the way of the television where adults are gathered for football. They probably are shuffled to a house or two filled with unfamiliar relatives who want to fawn over them and pinch their cheeks to boot.

As a mom of three little ones, I'm creating a plan to help them enjoy the day more. My answer? I'm coming to Grandma's house stocked with some crafts. But not just any crafts: I'm coming with crafts that will capture and create memories.

Here's my first plan of attack. I'm getting one of these scrapbooking bags. I've called my relatives to ask them to have one family photo out that we can have. I'm sure many will forget, though. But no fear! I will send my kids around with my digital camera to catch the sights and fun of the day. I figure this will give them something to focus on besides waiting for the turkey and pies. We'll start making the picture collages to fill the pockets with the ones we have that day. We'll use the spare time throughout the weekend to have the pictures the kids took printed out to finish filling the remainder of the picture pockets. When it's all said and finished, we will have a practical, usable tote bag filled with holiday memories. I could see us changing out the pictures each year! Or I could see this making a great Christmas gift when it's all done for Grandma. Yes, that's what we'll do! She'll love it!

I'm also bringing one of these Christmas banner kits as Plan B. Just in case we don't have enough photos to work on the scrap bag any amount of time, I think the kids will love working on this project. Each child (and the adults not intereseted in football) can make a different felt shape in the banner. Once all the shapes are put together on the satin ribbon, we'll have a one-of-a-kind Christmas banner to start the decorating! I know my kids will delight in seeing the banner year after year and remembering who decorated the gingerbread man and who did the santa hat.

Yep, I think the kids will start to look forward to Thanksgiving with these little projects to work on. They will be fun and capture the memories we all are hoping the holidays inspire in the first place.

Christmas List Woes: What Do You Do?

I'm depressed. My daughter is asking for the dreaded Zhou Zhou pets for Christmas. Ugh.

I've tried to do all the "right" things. We limit tv time and stick to PBS almost exclusively. We have creative, open-ended toys like blocks and dress-up clothes in our home. We have even talked about how commercials can make items look better than they really are. Still, somehow, she caught wind of Zhou Zhou pets, and she wants them.

As a parent, I'm a little at a loss as what to do. On the one hand, you're only six during Christmas once in your life. A part of me wants to say, "What's the harm? Get her the glorified, battery-operated rat so she will be excited on Christmas morning ." But a bigger part of me knows how my daughter really plays. She will be bored and disappointed with a toy that just runs around on plastic paths within a couple of hours. The novelty will quickly be gone, and I'll be out some serious cash.

On the other hand, I know that if I get her some Playmobil pieces to add to her set, she and her siblings will have new play scenarios sparked. They play with those little pieces just about daily. Likewise, I could add the ice cream set for their kitchen and store play. I have no doubt that toy will see many hours of pretend play. But neither of those options will provide the squealy, excited just-what-I-asked-for moment for her that the rats--okay, they're really hamsters--will. Sigh.

I can't be the only parent out there thinking about such problems this time of year, right? I'd love to hear what others do when their children ask for a gift they just don't feel great about. Or is too expensive. Or just isn't going to happen for whatever reason.

So tell me what you do.

Boys and Dolls: What's the Problem?

When my daughters are seen at the park pushing big trucks through the sand while they make loud vrooming noises, the other parents smile and nod. But when some catch a glance of my little boy zipping down the slide with Baby Sarah, his doll, proudly postured in his lap, some parents can look downright uncomfortable. This difference is why I feel a tad sorry for little boys. My girls are allowed to play anything they want; dolls, trucks, blocks, trains, kitchen, family-- all are acceptable forms of play for my girls. But my son, who has loved Baby Sarah since he was barely two, has heard many times at the tender age of four that dolls are for girls. He has watched parents at the park pick Baby Sarah up off of the ground and assume that he (yes, a boy named Sarah!) must belong to his twin sister standing by. My husband and I have re-assured him more times than we can count that there is nothing wrong with him loving Sarah. But I think our culture at large must disagree with us. Just a quick glance of the doll aisle in most stores fills one's eyes with a sea of pink and ruffles. I hate to admit this, but even at our store, the doll section is filled with "girl" dolls. We do have a soft boy peapod doll in the infant section. And we have a set of twin dolls, one boy and one girl, but no separate boys at this point in these more traditional dolls. We have tried boy dolls. They just don't sell. In fact, Baby Sarah, a doll created by Corolle to look like a boy, has been discontinued. It must not have been a big seller for anyone. But I just don't understand why. Dolls teach children so much! Experts in this great article about the benefits of doll play explain, "Pretend play, of which dolls are a part, benefits all areas of development. By dressing and feeding dolls, children enhance fine-motor skills. By assuming roles and interacting with other children, they practice language and social skills, including sharing, cooperation, helping, and problem solving. They learn the different roles people play and begin to see their own place in the world. " How are these skills only important to girls? Of course, they are not. So what's the problem? I'm guessing we're stuck thinking of doll play as just rocking them to sleep and feeding them. My son does indeed treat Sarah this tenderly at times. I think it's a good sign that he'll grow to be a caring, loving father like his daddy. But he definitely puts his own twist on doll play, too. Sarah slides down fire poles that are too scary for him to try first. He also gets put in handcuffs as the bad guy and knocks over block towers as a mean bully. And one of my son's favorite summer games is throwing Sarah in the pool and swimming frantically to save him. In other words, my son finds "girl" ways and "boy" ways to play with his doll. Like any other good toy, it sparks his imagination and creativity. I'm sure the time is coming that my son will start feeling too self-conscious to bring Sarah out and about with us as he does now. But until then, this is one family who is fine--make that more than fine-- with their boy playing with dolls.